Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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