i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
