We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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