I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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