Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
worst night to have a conscience
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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