the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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