I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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