I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
