the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
