Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
