Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
