I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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