If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
