i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize