thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
