I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you traded sex for a burrito?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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