very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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