lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
