I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
