i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
