ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
