We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
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my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
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I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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