Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We left an ass print on the piano.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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