Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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