Whod you bang
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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