Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize