Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
