Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Enjoy the penises
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
