Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
