I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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