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• (703): View more from Virginia

  fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went

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  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It turns out my teeth are bleeding.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300

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• (315): View more from New York

  I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.

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• 

  19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?

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• (925): View more from California

  I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence

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