Texts From Last Night

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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!

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  (870): The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!! http://tfl.nu/bjxs
  Replies (31) Good night (3884) Bad night (1246)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  how do you have sooo much energy?

  (571): View more from Virginia

  billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week

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  (703): how do you have sooo much energy? (571): billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week http://tfl.nu/czgq
  Replies (16) Good night (4511) Bad night (764)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.

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  (405): Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever. http://tfl.nu/hc2j
  Replies (47) Good night (5184) Bad night (843)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear

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  (248): she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear http://tfl.nu/c4tr
  Replies (25) Good night (6627) Bad night (1470)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.

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  (705): It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed. http://tfl.nu/ac0o
  Replies (16) Good night (976) Bad night (6255)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.

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  (407): Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008. http://tfl.nu/vkb0
  Replies (9) Good night (4763) Bad night (852)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?

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  (512): Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning? http://tfl.nu/pcyg
  Replies (4) Good night (1384) Bad night (582)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!

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  (406): Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you! http://tfl.nu/h6a1
  Replies (2) Good night (1138) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me

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  (773): I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me http://tfl.nu/kij5
  Replies (9) Good night (1711) Bad night (901)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."

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  (248): There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding." http://tfl.nu/ytsu
  Replies (5) Good night (1822) Bad night (1185)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore

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  (401): um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore http://tfl.nu/seg6
  Replies (11) Good night (847) Bad night (2388)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship

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  (204): I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot (1-204): I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship http://tfl.nu/q28b
  Replies (2) Good night (1450) Bad night (661)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.

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  (919): I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline. http://tfl.nu/f3bf
  Replies (14) Good night (2796) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.

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  (425): I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it. http://tfl.nu/bssm
  Replies (3) Good night (918) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life

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  (704): Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life http://tfl.nu/jsnk
  Replies (1) Good night (514) Bad night (291)

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