it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.