I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.