Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial

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  (404): Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial http://tfl.nu/i0mg
  Replies (27) Good night (4821) Bad night (758)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Little spoons don't ask big questions

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  (330): Little spoons don't ask big questions http://tfl.nu/13tl
  Replies (18) Good night (4539) Bad night (904)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?

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  (775): Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again? http://tfl.nu/oao4
  Replies (20) Good night (1218) Bad night (7682)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem

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  (847): I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem http://tfl.nu/9xlk
  Replies (16) Good night (5463) Bad night (1182)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.

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  (412): Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day. http://tfl.nu/ky2l
  Replies (6) Good night (1939) Bad night (1036)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.

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  (586): My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas. http://tfl.nu/bset
  Replies (8) Good night (879) Bad night (2649)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.

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  (631): Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel. http://tfl.nu/lrsp
  Replies (17) Good night (4535) Bad night (928)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.

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  (570): On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me. http://tfl.nu/8dr9
  Replies (6) Good night (2818) Bad night (674)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.

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  (202): Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out. http://tfl.nu/88jd
  Replies (10) Good night (2042) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you

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  (303): I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you http://tfl.nu/s8pp
  Replies (11) Good night (873) Bad night (622)
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  (415): View more from California

  I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.

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  (415): I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain. http://tfl.nu/kod9
  Replies (8) Good night (1597) Bad night (540)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??

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  (319): Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE?? http://tfl.nu/27co
  Replies (4) Good night (721) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,

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  (479): I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women.., http://tfl.nu/6j57
  Replies (6) Good night (879) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.

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  (714): I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too. http://tfl.nu/il0e
  Replies (2) Good night (718) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad

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  (402): I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad http://tfl.nu/j5m4
  Replies (1) Good night (341) Bad night (633)

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