At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize