i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
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You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
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Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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