is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
