she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
