Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
