Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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