3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
