Three words: puerto rican gang bang
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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