I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
