weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
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you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
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whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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