apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize