thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
