In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize