I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
How drunk are you?
Completed.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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