She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize