i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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