As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
