Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
false alarm, still single
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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