If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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