We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
