For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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