Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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