He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
