remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I don't think brook has ever known best
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Randomize
