TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
