you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize