i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I am never drinking with the goths again.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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