She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize