see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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