Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
