What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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