In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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